Identity Crisis
by JasonMorganfan87
Summary: Victor doesn't take the news of finding out he's not Todd Manning well. He has a breakdown and tries to kill himself. Who should find him but Marty. Can she save him and help him survive the ultimate identity crisis or is he too damaged to be repaired?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Life to Live or any of its characters. **

**Identity Crisis**

**A/N: In this story, Marty never had her breakdown, nor did she leave town with Patrick. Patrick is still dead in this.**

Todd Manning… no, Victor Lord Jr., was standing on yet another roof. This time instead of the roof of the Palace, he was on the roof of Llanview Hospital. He wasn't sure why he chose here. Maybe to make it easier for them to get him to the morgue once he was dead. All he knew was that he was going to die tonight.

Todd… right, no, Victor, had just found out that every single memory he had before eight years ago were not his own. They all belonged to Todd Manning, his twin brother. His relationships with everyone in town, save his son, Sam, were also Todd's.

It felt so unnerving. He felt almost like he was thinking about himself in the third person because until today, he thought he was Todd Manning. Even when his brother showed up with his old face claiming to be Todd Manning, he thought the man was an imposter. But he wasn't. He, Victor, was the real imposter, though he didn't know it. He had been brainwashed into believing he was someone he wasn't.

And now he had nothing. He'd lost absolutely everything that was supposed to be his. His wife had only married because she believed he was Todd Manning, the man she had been in love with for years. His kids were no longer his. They belonged to this other guy. He didn't even have his own identity. That belonged to Todd to. He had no reason to go on.

Victor looked down at the ground below him. This jump would kill him. There was no water this time to save him, and for that he was grateful. He didn't wanna live. His life wasn't really his, so ending it seemed like the best option right now.

Victor was about to jump when he heard a door open, followed by a familiar voice. "Todd?"

Victor turned to see Marty several feet behind him. It was clear she was on duty because she had her lab coat on. He started laughing. Of all the people to find him about to off himself. "Of course it would be you."

"What are you doing, Todd?" Marty asked cautiously. She didn't like the scene in front of her. Todd was standing at the edge of the roof and his face and voice both screamed that he was in trouble, and not the type he was usually in. This was the type of trouble that required her expertise.

Victor laughed. "You and I just keep getting in situations like this. This is number three, isn't? Actually make that two." He'd just remembered that the first time 'he'd' considered offing himself and Marty found him, it wasn't him, it was Todd.

"Todd, you need to step away from the edge," Marty said.

"No, I think I need to step over the edge," Victor said before taking a step closer.

"Tell me why!" Marty yelled out to stop him. "Why do you wanna kill yourself? Did you and Tea fight?"

Victor laughed almost hysterically. "I haven't even seen Tea since this morning. I wonder how she'll react when she learns the truth. No doubt she'll go running after him. Will she even think about me?"

"What are you talking about? Who's him?" Marty asked.

"Todd," Victor answered.

Marty was getting the feeling Todd was suffering from some kind of mental break. He had just said his own name like he was talking about a completely different person. "What are you talking about? You're Todd."

Victor turned and looked at her like she'd grown a second head. While Marty wouldn't know yet that he wasn't Todd for sure, she should at least know someone else was claiming to be. "Have you been living under a rock? Where have you been the last few days?"

"I've been out of town, why?" Marty asked.

Victor chuckled. "Well, boy, have you missed a lot." He then went on to explain everything that happened the night of the premier and afterwards. When he was done, he could tell she thought he was crazy.

When Todd had finished speaking, she was convinced she was right about him having a breakdown. What he'd just said was completely insane. Things like that did not happen. She couldn't tell him that though. It would push him over the edge, literally. "So you're not Todd Manning? Your real name is Victor Lord Jr."

"And you don't believe me. You think I'm certifiable," Victor said. It wasn't a question. He could see it all over her face. She thought he was insane. Why wouldn't she though? If someone had told him a story like this without him seeing it himself, he would think the person was insane to.

"I didn't say that," Marty told him.

"You didn't have to. Not only is it written all over your face, but it's pretty crazy story. I wouldn't believe it if I were you either. But it's true. Call McBain if you don't believe me. He knows it's true. Hell everyone knows that there were two of us walking around. So go ahead. Go call John and then call for a coroner. It shouldn't be hard since we're already at the hospital," Victor said.

"Todd, no. Don't do this. Just come with me downstairs and we can talk," Marty said.

Victor laughed again. "You wanna shrink me, Marty?"

"I wanna help you. Don't do this. You're in trouble right now, but this is not the way out. Don't throw your life away," Marty pleaded.

"My life? I don't have a life, Marty. It all belongs to him. My family, my memories, even my thoughts are his. There is nothing that is truly mine," Victor said.

"What about Sam? Sam's yours," Marty said. She was still more than skeptical about this whole thing, but right now it wasn't about whether or not Todd, or Victor, was telling the truth or whether this was a delusion. Right now all that mattered was getting him off the roof.

Victor pictured Sam in his head. The sweet little boy he'd fought for two years to get back. Yes, Sam was his and he loved him, but what could he really offer Sam? He didn't have an identity, not really. How could he be a good father to Sam when he didn't even know who he was. "Sam is better off without me."

"Do you think that's how he'll see it. Sam loves you. If you kill yourself, you'll be making him fatherless. Do you really think that's fair?" Marty asked.

"He's fatherless either way. The man that was his father isn't real. He's a fraud," Victor said.

"That's not true. Whether you're Todd or you're Victor, you are Sam's father and you are real. Even if you can't believe your relationship with everyone else is yours, your relationship with Sam is. It had nothing to do with being Todd Manning," Marty said. Again, she wasn't convinced any of this was true, but it wasn't important.

"I love Sam," Victor said. He loved all of them, but right now, he was thinking mostly about Sam. The others would turn to Todd as soon as they knew the truth, but Sam didn't have that.

Marty reached her hand out for him. "Then come with me. Come with me for Sam."

Victor stared at her for several moments before stepping away from the roof. "For Sam."

Marty breathed a sigh of relief and took him by the arm before leading him towards the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Victor was quiet as Marty led him into her office. He didn't even try to make her let go of his arm. He was emotionally exhausted and he was already regretting not jumping. He didn't care where he was or what happened to him right now.

"Here, sit down," Marty said as she gently pushed him down on the couch. "I'm just going to make a couple of quick phone calls and I'll be right with you."

"Whatever," Victor said carelessly.

Marty walked over to her desk and made her calls. First, she called outside to her assistant and made it clear she was not to be disturbed for any reason. Then she quietly called security. She wanted a guard outside in case Todd tried to run. She wouldn't be able stop him alone if he did and she was sure he'd try to finish what he started. She would also need to call Tea or Viki later to let them know what was going on, but that could wait. She didn't want him to freak out if he heard her making such calls.

Once she was done, Marty went over and sat in a chair to Todd's right. She still called him Todd in her head because that was who she believed he was. She was convinced that this 'victor' persona, as well as the man who supposedly had Todd's old face, were just delusions that Todd made up in his head. However, she wasn't sure what caused such delusions. Something big had to have happened to cause Todd's break from reality. "You wanna tell me what happened, Todd?"

"I already told you, and you should stop calling me Todd. I don't think the real Todd will like it much," Victor said. He then looked to be in thought for a minute. "On second thought, call me Todd. Whatever makes him unhappy is okay in my book."

"Well, why don't you tell me again. You met this man at the premier, right?" Marty asked.

"No. That's where everyone else met him. I met him before that, on Sam's birthday," Victor said.

"When he was kidnapped?" Marty asked. She of course heard about Sam's kidnapping. Everyone in Llanview heard about it. He was the son of two very well-known citizens.

"He's the one that took Sam. He called and asked to meet me after grabbing my son. When I saw him, I was shocked. It was like looking in the mirror. Or it would've been if I still looked like that. He told me he was the real Todd Manning and accused me of stealing his life. I thought he was crazy," Victor said.

"What happened next?" Marty asked.

"He demanded that I tell him what was going on, but I didn't know. I just thought he was some loon who decided he wanted to be me. Then he took me at gunpoint and he took me to my place. We argued. He wanted to go inside and I didn't want him to. Then some agent showed up, Baker. They argued and then another agent hit the imposter… Right he's not an imposter. He hit Todd from behind. They took him away. I'm pretty sure they planned to kill him," Victor explained.

Marty was getting more worried with every word. This was getting very detailed. What the hell had happened to cause Todd to snap like this. "Did you tell anyone about this?"

"No. Baker threatened me. Said he'd do to me what he was doing to Todd. I wouldn't have told anyone anyway though. It was too freaky. I really just wanted to forget it. I thought I could too. Then he showed up at the premier and everyone saw him," Victor said.

"Alright, let's go back before all this, before the premier and before Sam's kidnapping. Was anything worrying you before that? Was there anything that had you upset?" Marty asked. She had to find out the catalyst. Something happened to make Todd breakdown like this.

"I am not crazy!" Victor yelled before jumping up and crossing the room. He knew that was what she thought. He knew it even on the roof, but it bothered him more now that he couldn't just jump.

"I didn't say you were crazy. Please sit back down," Marty said calmly.

"No! You think I've lost my mind! I haven't! This happened! You can call and ask anyone!" Victor yelled at her.

"Please come back and sit down," she requested once more. She needed to get him calmed down and talking again.

"What for? You don't believe what I say, and even if you did, what does it matter? You can't say anything that will change it. My life still doesn't belong to me anymore," Victor said.

"You're not the first person to say something like that to me. I've had a lot of patients say that talking to me can't change anything. They usually turn out to be wrong. Give me a chance to prove you wrong too," Marty said.

"No, I'm getting out of here," Victor said before headed towards the door.

Marty stood up and watched him open the door, coming face to face with a security guard. "Todd, come sit down."

"You need to listen to her, sir," the guard said.

Victor turned and glared at Marty. "You called security to keep me here?"

"You tried to kill yourself, Todd. I can't just let you leave," Marty said.

"The hell you can't! Let me out," Victor screamed before charging at the guard. He had to get out of there. He knew if he didn't, Marty was going to fit him for a strait jacket. Like hell that was going to happen. That was worse than death. He really should've just jumped when he had the chance.

The security guard grabbed him in a body hold and held him tightly. He was a big guy so it wasn't that hard.

"Let go!" Victor yelled.

"Todd, calm down," Marty said as she touched his arm.

"No! Get him off me, Marty!" he yelled as he continued to fight the hold.

"I can't do that. Can I get some help over here?!" Marty yelled.

A doctor and a nurse came over. The doctor helped to restrain Victor and lower him to the ground.

Marty turned to the nurse. "Get me a sedative." She didn't wanna have to drug him, but she knew there was no calming him down without it now. She needed to get him under control and admitted into a room.

The nurse nodded and rushed off.

Victor continued to fight. He was not going to let them lock him up and drug him without a fight. "Get off of me!"

The nurse came back a minute later with a vile and needle for Marty.

Marty immediately filled the syringe and lifted up Todd's sleeve before injecting him in the arm. "It's gonna be alright."

Victor's body began to relax against his wishes. "Don't do this, Marty."

"You're gonna be okay. We're gonna help you. Just stop fighting it and sleep. You need to rest," Marty said.

Victor tried to keep fighting, but it was no use. His body succumbed to the drug and soon everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

Marty walked into Todd's room just as they'd finished situating him. She stared at him at disbelief. She really could not believe this had happened. She had no idea his mental health was so fragile. Then again, she wasn't really paying attention. She spent as little time as possible around Todd, only seeing him when it had to do with Starr and Hope. She would have to speak to Viki and Tea when they got there. She'd called both of them and left a message for Starr. They all needed to know what was going on.

Marty racked her brain trying to think of what could've caused Todd's delusions. Could it have been Sam's kidnapping? A child's kidnapping was traumatizing for any parent and could very well send someone over the edge, but into insanity? She just wasn't sure a few hours of Sam being missing could've caused that, especially in Todd. He was pretty good at handling a crisis. Unless of course he was already on the edge and his son's abduction just pushed him over.

Marty was pulled from her thoughts when one of the nurses spoke.

"Doctor Saybrooke, did you want him restrained?" she asked.

Marty considered it for a moment. Todd was likely to be very upset when he woke and would likely try to leave. Restraining him would eliminate that possibility. On the other hand, he would feel much more cornered and would probably shut down if he woke up to find himself in restraints. "No, not right now. If he wakes up too agitated, I'll reevaluate. I do want a guard outside his door at all times though. He's a serious danger to himself."

"Of course. I'll get that set up right away," the nurse said. She and the other occupants of the room left soon afterwards.

Marty went over and sat down by Todd's side. "What happened, Todd? What caused you to fall apart like this?" She didn't expect an answer, as Todd was heavily sedated. She wasn't even sure why she was asking. All she knew was that this was hitting her hard. A man she had both hated and loved in her life was suffering a severe mental breakdown. Oh, she hated to admit that she once loved him, but she did. Yes, it was all based on lies, but she couldn't change the fact that she had fallen for him.

Marty sighed. She wondered if she was really the best person to help him. Maybe she should get him a different doctor, someone who didn't know him and hadn't been hurt by him. But at the same time, she knew Todd would try to work any other doctor to get them to leave him be. Then he would just end up on another roof. And then no one would be there to stop him. He wouldn't be able to do that with her. She knew all his tricks by now. No, she would be sticking with Todd until he was well.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Viki made her way down to Marty's office. She'd received a call from the woman asking her to come down. She'd said it was about Todd and that it was important. She could only assume that Marty had heard what was going on with the two men who claimed to be and actually both turned out to be her brothers. Under the circumstances, she figured Marty deserved to hear what was going on from her in person, so she agreed to come down.

When Viki got to Marty's office, she found Tea waiting outsider her door. "Tea, what are you doing here?"

"I got a call from Marty about Todd. She told me to get down here right away. Does this have anything to do with the imposter with his old face?" Tea asked.

"You haven't heard," Viki realized. That meant Todd… no, Victor, hadn't returned home yet. It was really hard thinking of him as Victor. He had been Todd for so long that it was hard for her to think of him in any other way.

"Heard what?" Tea asked.

Before Viki could say anything, Marty made her way over to them. "Hey, thanks for coming."

"What's going on? Why were we both called down here?" Tea asked.

"Let's talk in my office," Marty said before opening the door for the two women and holding it open. Once they were all inside, she closed the door behind her. "Have a seat?" she said before taking her seat behind her desk.

Viki and Tea sat down in the two chairs in front of her desk.

"When's the last time either of you saw Todd?" Marty asked.

"He was at Llanfair a couple of hours ago," Viki asked. That was true for both of her brothers. She wasn't positive which one Marty meant, but she had a feeling it was Victor since not a lot of people knew how the situation with both men had ended, and because of the fact that Tea was here.

"Was he upset at all?" Marty asked.

"Okay, what's going on? Why are you asking about my husband, Marty?" Tea asked. She was beginning to get extremely worried.

Marty took a deep breath. "Alright, I'm just going to say it. Tonight, I found Todd preparing to kill himself. He was on top of the roof of this hospital and he was going to jump."

"Oh my God!" Viki exclaimed as she covered her mouth with her hand. She couldn't believe it. She knew Todd… She knew Victor had been upset, but she didn't think he was suicidal. She probably should've though. He'd just had everything he was taken away from him. She shouldn't have let him leave by himself.

"What? No, you're wrong. Todd wouldn't hurt himself," Tea denied. This made no sense whatsoever. She'd seen Todd that morning. He wasn't suicidal. He'd left determined to prove his identity. He wouldn't have been like that if he was planning to hurt himself.

"He did, Tea. And I'm afraid it gets worse. After listening to Todd, I think that he's been suffering for a while. I think that he had a psychotic break," Marty said.

Viki shook her head. "No, Marty, he didn't. I can imagine what he said to you and believe me, I know how crazy it must have sounded to you, but he isn't crazy. What he told you was the truth," Viki said.

Marty looked at Viki in surprise. "You're telling me there's a guy going around with Todd's old face?"

"He showed up the night of the premier claiming to be the real Todd Manning," Tea said.

"It's more than a claim now, Tea. It's fact. It's a long story, but it came out today that the man with Todd's old face is the real Todd. The man you married is Victor Lord Jr., his twin," Viki said as gently as she could.

Marty was beyond shocked. She had been so sure that Todd had been delusional when he told her about this other man and how he was the real Todd Manning. It just seemed too out there to be true. But according Viki and Tea, this man existed.

She wasn't sure what to do with this information. It changed things for her. The man who'd taken her to his house, the man she'd fallen in love with, was not Todd Manning. She could stop feeling sick every time she thought about having fallen in love with her rapist because it wasn't true. Still, the situation was weird. She, along with everyone else had considered this man to be Todd Manning. It was hard to think of him as someone else.

"Marty? Marty, are you alright?" Viki asked.

Marty forced herself back to the reality in front of her. She needed to focus on T…. Victor. He was her patient and he was in trouble. She could deal with her own issues with it all later. "Uh, yeah, just a little surprised."

"No, this can't be true. My husband can't be an imposter," Tea said. Truthfully though, she wasn't completely sure. Of what she was saying. The man with Todd's old face had known so much about her relationship with Todd, so much that it had her questioning things.

"No, Tea, he's not, not in the way you're thinking anyway. He didn't know. He honestly believed he was who he claimed to be," Viki said.

"Viki's right. I may not have known about this until tonight and I still don't know the details, but I know that Todd, excuse me, Victor, did not know about it. He was positively traumatized by it," Marty said. She could still see the look in the man's eyes as he prepared to end his life. That was real. No one, not even Todd Manning or anyone who thought he was Todd Manning could make that up.

"How could that have happened? How could he not know he wasn't Todd?" Tea asked.

Viki then explained how Victor was brainwashed by Irene to take Todd's place. "By the time Irene was done, he thought he was Todd."

Marty felt sick. She'd heard all this from Todd… Victor, but now hearing it as the truth made her stomach turn. What that woman had done to Victor and to Todd was repulsive. What kind of mother hurt her own children like that?

"I can't believe this? This is just evil," Tea said. She too felt sick to her stomach as she thought about what this woman had done.

"Is Victor alright?" Viki asked Marty.

"No, he's not. He's better than I thought he was, but only slightly," Marty said. While she knew now that Todd… Victor hadn't suffered a complete breakdown, that did not mean things still weren't really bad for him. He was suffering the biggest identity crisis that anyone had ever suffered and he was still very much a threat to his own life.

"Where is he? Where is my husband?" Tea wanted to know.

"He's here in the hospital. He's asleep. We had to sedate him," Marty said.

"You drugged my husband?" Tea asked angrily.

"For his own safety, yes. He'd just become aware of the fact that he couldn't just go home after what he tried to do and he lost it. I tried to calm him down, but it didn't work. Sedating him was the only way," Marty said.

"Oh God," Viki said quietly.

"But to drug him…"

"It was for his own good, Tea," Marty interrupted.

"He's going to be upset when he wakes up. He's gonna want to leave right away," Viki said. She got the feeling that was going to be a problem. Marty wasn't going to want to let him just leave after what had just happened.

"Well, that can't happen," Marty said.

"What do you mean it can't happen? He's not insane. He didn't make this up in his head. You know that now," Tea said.

"Yes, but that's not the only reason I admitted him. It played a significant factor, but I would've done so anyway solely based off of his suicide attempt," Marty said.

"What are you suggesting we do, Marty?" Viki asked. She wanted to help Victor. He might not be Todd, but he was still her brother and she loved him.

"I'm not _suggesting _anything. A suicide attempt is a mandatory seventy-two hour psycho hold," Marty said.

"You can't lock him up against his will," Tea said, going into full lawyer mode.

Marty sighed. "Tea, this isn't about locking him up. I'm not trying to keep him prisoner. This isn't a punishment. I am trying to keep your husband alive and help him realize that taking his life is not the way to deal with this."

"But It's just because he feels alone. Once he realizes we all still love him, he'll be okay," Tea said.

"You really think that? I'm sorry, Tea, but I disagree. The fear of rejection may be a big part of it, but it isn't that alone. Victor has been conditioned to be Todd Manning. He doesn't know how to be anything else and that is affecting him more than any of us can possibly understand. To him, he doesn't have a life of his own. Everything about his life is Todd's. And to tell you the truth, at this point, he's not exactly wrong. Everything he has even thought or felt had to do with believing himself to be Todd Manning. That's all been shattered now. He now knows that he is not Todd Manning. He has to find a way through the programming and figure out who he is. That's not going to be easy. He's going to need some serious help," Marty explained.

"Oh God, Irene, how could you?" Viki asked to herself. She could hardly believe what her old friend had become. She'd destroyed her sons' lives. She tortured one of them for years and mentally destroyed the others. She'd done more damage than Victor Sr. or Peter Manning could do if they joined up.

"I wanna see my husband?" Tea said.

"Of course. He's down the hall in room 217. Just so you're aware, there is someone sitting outside the door for his protection," Marty said.

Tea nodded before standing up and heading for the door.

Viki started to go as well, but Marty stopped her.

"Viki hang on a second," Marty said before grabbing a piece of stationary and writing down a name and number on it. "This is the name of a colleague of mine. I realize he probably won't call, but I want you to give it to Todd. He needs some help to."

Viki smiled and took the piece of paper. "Thank you for thinking of him. You'd be well within your rights to not care."

"No one deserves what he went through," Marty said.

"I'll make sure he gets it, but you're right, I doubt he'll call," Viki said before heading for the door.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Starr walked into the living room of her Aunt Dorian's house. She found her mother there just getting off the phone. "Hey, Mom, can you watch Hope for me? I just got a message from Marty. She says it's important, so I'm heading over to her office. It might be about Cole." She'd actually gotten the call last night, but because of all the chaos of finding out the truth about her father, she'd ignored her phone.

"Uh, sweetie, come sit down for a minute," Blair said before leading her daughter over to the couch.

Starr sat down with her mother. She could tell something was very wrong, worse even than what had already happened these last few days. Her mother's face was filled with worry and disbelief. "What's wrong?"

"I just got off the phone with Tea. Marty didn't call because of Cole. She called because your father… God, I'm still not used to this. Your uncle was hospitalized last night."

Starr's eyes widened in fear. Victor might not be her father, but she still loved him very much. She didn't want anything to happen to him. "Oh my God! Is he okay? Did Dad do something?"

"No, your father didn't do anything. Victor hurt himself, or at least he tried. Marty found him about to jump off the roof of the hospital last night," Blair said as gently as she could. It was hard though because she was having a hard time with this too. They weren't together anymore and he wasn't Todd, but they had still been married before and he was the father of her child. It horrified her to know that he'd hurt himself like this. It wasn't the first time he'd tried, nor was it the first time he'd used a roof as his method, but it was different this time. No one talked him into it this time. He wasn't trying ease anyone's suffering. He'd done it because he didn't think he had anything worth living for.

Starr covered her mouth with her hand in horror. She was picturing it in her mind. She saw the man she'd believed was her father for eight years standing on the edge of the roof. It shook her badly. "H…he didn't jump, right? You said he tried."

"No, he didn't jump this time. Marty talked him out of it," Blair said. That was certainly ironic. The last time Victor had tried to kill himself, Marty had been the one to encourage it. This time she was the one to stop him.

Starr let out a sob. "I…I was so wrapped up in Dad last night. I didn't even really think about Victor. I didn't think about what Victor was going through, how this would all affect him."

"Starr, you didn't do anything wrong. I don't think there's any right or wrong way to handle something like this," Blair said.

"I should've gone to see Victor. I should've realized the pain he would be in," Starr said. She felt so horrible for not at least going over there once her dad left. Victor had raised her as his daughter for eight years. She'd owed it to him to see him and tell him she loved him.

"Sweetie, Victor didn't try to kill himself because of you. He tried to kill himself because his entire world turned on its axis. That was his mother's fault, not yours," Blair sad.

Starr stood up abruptly. "I have to see him. He has to know that I still love him."

Blair stood up too. "Starr, be prepared. He tried to kill himself. You may not be prepared for what you find when you see him."

"Mom, after all this time, I think I've seen Victor at his worst. I'll be fine," Starr said before heading out of the room

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Tea was sitting by her husband's side. He was still sleeping. In a way, she was grateful. She wasn't sure she was prepared for what he would be like when he woke up. Sure, she'd seen him in bad shape, such as the last time he tried to kill himself, but something told her this time would be even worse. At least then he knew who he was.

"Tea?"

Tea turned around to see Starr in the doorway looking distraught. She immediately got up and went over to her and hugged her tightly. "Hey, sweetie."

Starr pulled away after a minute and slowly walked over to her uncle. He looked peaceful now, but she had a feeling that would change the second he opened his eyes.

Tea followed her over. "So I guess your mom told you."

Starr nodded. "I should've come to see him last night. I should've told him that even though he wasn't really my father, I still loved him."

"Starr, no, this is not your fault," Tea said.

"Maybe if I'd gone to your place to see him…"

"Starr, he didn't come home. I hadn't seen him since the morning. My guess is that he went directly from Viki's to the roof here. He never intended to see any of us again," Tea said sadly.

Starr grabbed ahold of her uncle' hand. "I wish I could've helped him."

"So do I, sweetheart. I wish he'd come to me and told me what happened and how he was feeling, but he obviously felt he couldn't," Tea said hurt. It hurt her to know that her husband didn't even try to fight, that he didn't come to her and tell her how much pain he was in. Hell, he didn't even tell her that he wasn't Todd. Then again, could she really blame him? This wasn't exactly something that people dealt with every day. How could she expect her own husband to deal with losing his whole life rationally?

"So what happens now?" Starr asked.

Tea sighed. "Well, I'm sure you didn't miss the guard outside the door. Your father… Your uncle has been committed on a seventy-two hour psych hold. I don't know what'll happen after that, but Marty thinks he's going to need a lot of help. She talked about trying to reverse the programming."

Starr frowned slightly at the tone of voice Tea was using. It seemed to upset her. "Why do you seem worried about that?"

"I… Look, I know it's selfish, but I keep wondering how it'll affect us if and when he stops trying to be Todd and figures out who he is. He was conditioned to be Todd Manning. Everything he thought or felt for anyone was based off of that conditioning. What if the only reason he loved me was because Todd once did. What if after it's all over, he realizes that he didn't really love me," Tea asked worried. She didn't voice it, but she also worried about the reverse. She didn't wanna admit it, but she didn't really know her husband. She only knew who he was taught to be. She'd already loved that person. What if she couldn't love him when he stopped being that person?

"You really believe that? You think Victor only loved you because he thought he was Todd Manning?" Starr asked.

Tea shrugged. "It only stands to reason. He loved your mom when he first got here because your father loved her. Those weren't his feelings, they were Todd's. Todd was the one who loved her, just like Todd had once loved me. I'm just afraid that that's all it is."

Before Starr could respond, Victor began to wake up. He started moving around and his eyes slowly opened.

Tea smiled at her husband. "Hey. How you feeling?"

Victor blinked a couple of times to wake up completely. He looked around to see that he was in the hospital. It wasn't a big surprise given that that was where he was the last time he remembered too. He looked towards the door and saw the form of someone sitting just outside. It didn't take a genius to figure things out. Marty had made it perfectly clear that she wasn't going to let him just leave, and that was before drugging him. "Get Marty."

"What?" Tea asked caught off guard.

"I said get Marty now!" Victor said angrily. There was no way in hell this was happening. He was not going to let her keep him here like a crazy person.

"Okay, I'll get her, but you need to calm down," Tea said before rushing out of the room to find Marty.


	5. Chapter 5

Victor was really agitated. He was in the hospital with a babysitter outside the door watching him like he was a crazy person, and that was after being drugged. Not to mention that his world had just been blown apart not even twenty-four hours ago. He shouldn't have listened to Marty. He should've just jumped off the roof like he wanted. All listening to Marty did was make things worse. He still felt like he had nothing left to live for. Now he was just locked up in a hospital.

Starr was still standing by her uncle's side. "It's gonna be okay, D... It's gonna be okay."

Victor flinched. Starr's slip up was not lost on him. She was about to call him 'dad' when she stopped herself. She knew he wasn't really her father and she couldn't call him that. It hurt a lot because he loved Starr so much. He still felt like her father. But he wasn't and Starr wouldn't see him that way anymore. "You don't have to stay here."

"I want to. I'm worried about you," Starr said. That was an understatement. Her fath… uncle had tried to kill himself and if it weren't for Marty, he would've succeeded. That terrified her.

"I'll be fine. I just need Marty to get here and let me go," Victor said.

Tea came back into the room then.

"Where is she?" Victor asked.

"She's not here yet. I spoke to her assistant and she said she'd let her know you wanna see her as soon as she gets in. In the meantime, you need to stay calm. I don't think you want that guy outside to think you're too agitated," Tea said.

Victor took a deep breath. Tea was right about that. Getting too upset on the psych ward was guaranteed to get him either tied to the bed or drugged again. Neither option appealed to him right now. "What are you guys even doing here?"

"Where else would we be? You tried to kill yourself," Tea said in disbelief. It still hit her hard that he had done such a thing It hit even worse that he seemed to think that she wouldn't come to be with him afterwards.

"Chasing after the man you really wanted to marry," Victor said before turning to Starr. "Supporting your r…real father."

"Da… Look, I don't know how to deal with this. A part of me wishes I were Jack right now. He found out the truth last night and he still only sees you as his father because he doesn't remember anyone else," Starr said.

"H…he does?" Victor asked hopefully. He couldn't help but hope that that was true, that Jack still loved him. Although, it probably wouldn't last. Todd was his real father and eventually the need to know him would surpass everything else.

"Yeah. And a part of me envies him. He only remembers one man as his father. He doesn't feel torn," Starr said. She felt so torn about this. She loved both men. She'd spent the first eleven years of her life with Todd as her father and they had been very close. She was closer to him than anyone, even her mother. But she loved Victor too, despite the pain he had caused her with Cole and Hope. She loved him like he was her father and she couldn't just forget him because the real Todd Manning was back.

"Don't feel torn. It's pretty cut and dry. He's your father," Victor said. It tore him apart to say it, but it was true. He loved Starr so much, but he wasn't her father. She would eventually choose Todd, as would the others and it would hurt so much more to put it off. That was why he wanted to just end it and jump. Well that was part of it anyway. He also felt like he had no life at all. Nothing in his life with the exception of Sam was his. And he still felt Sam was better off without him. He didn't jump last night because of Sam, but a part of him felt like that was a mistake. Sam deserved better than a father that didn't know who he was.

"To… Victor, we love you. We don't care that you're not Todd. It doesn't matter to us," Tea said.

"Don't lie to me or yourself, Tea. You came back for Todd. You were in love with Todd. I'm not Todd," Victor said.

Just then, Marty walked into the room. "Tea, Starr, I have to ask you to leave for a while."

"Why don't you just let me leave?" Victor asked with a glare.

Tea touched Victor's arm. "We love you. This doesn't change that."

Victor didn't respond

"Come on, Starr," Tea said before leading the younger woman out of the room.

Marty closed the door behind them before walking towards her newest patient. "How are you feeling?"

Victor glared fiercely at her. "How am I feeling? You drugged me and are basically holding me hostage! I'm pissed!"

"Good," Marty said as she sat down in the chair beside him. "I'm glad you feel something other than the desire to end your life."

Victor continued to glare. "You had no right to drug me."

"I had no choice but to drug you. I could not get you to calm down any other way," Marty said.

"You were going to have me committed! How exactly did you expect me to react?!" Victor yelled.

Marty sighed. "The fact remains that you were a danger to yourself and I needed to get you calm."

"No, you needed to me submissive so that you could force me into this bed! When you couldn't get me to submit, you settled for drugging me!" he said angrily.

"You can see it that way if you want," Marty said.

"Don't talk to me in that shrink speak. Just let me leave. As I'm sure Tea and Starr have told you, I'm not crazy," Victor said.

"You're right, you're not crazy. I never thought you were crazy. I did think you'd had a psychotic break though. I was wrong and I apologize," Marty said sincerely.

"I'll tell you what, Marty. You let me out of here and we'll let bygones be bygones."

Marty leaned back in her chair. "You're smart enough to know that's not going to happen."

"I am not crazy! You admitted that yourself," Victor said in frustration.

"No, but you tried to kill yourself and I'm almost positive that you'll try again," Marty said.

"So what? You shouldn't give a damn if I off myself. You hate my guts. In fact, it wasn't too long ago that you and I were on another roof and you were the one encouraging it," Victor reminded her.

Marty felt a pang of guilt. She had a lot of remorse for that night. She had been really angry back then and she'd come to the wrong conclusion that Victor, then believed to be Todd, dying would end her pain. She'd made the very wrong decision to try to get him to commit suicide. It was something she'd always regret. But she couldn't let Victor see that right now. Right now, he was using to try to manipulate her and she wasn't going to let that happen.

"You remember that, right? It was right after I held you in my house for months. I convinced you that you were in danger if you left. I lied to you. I didn't tell you had a son and I didn't tell you that I'd raped you," Victor said. He was trying to get her as angry as possible, so angry that she wouldn't care anymore and would let him leave.

Marty just sat there, her face completely stoic. "Keep going. There's also the part where you let me fall in love with you and the part where you wanted us to move away and raise Hope as our own. In case you haven't noticed yet, it's not working. You can bring up every evil thing you've ever done. You will not manipulate me into letting you leave to kill yourself."

Victor huffed and looked away.

"So we're done with that, right? Good, let's move on. Oh, but first, you didn't rape me. Todd did," Marty said.

Victor turned back to her in shock. He'd forgotten that. His memories of Todd were still so strong and felt so real that he still forgot that they weren't. He wasn't the one to rape Marty. He'd hurt her a lot still, but he didn't do that. "I didn't rape you."

"No," Marty said.

"Well, I guess that's something," Victor said. And it was. He wasn't the man who organized a gang rape. That had been the worst thing he'd ever done and now it was gone. Unfortunately, everything good about being Todd Manning was gone with it.

"Yeah, it is. Focus on it. You need to focus on the good. All the things Todd Manning has done, you're not responsible for them. You didn't rape me that night. Just like you didn't take Jack away from Blair," Marty said.

"But I've still lost Jack, or at least I will. I've lost everything. Look, just let me go, Marty. Let me go and end it all."

"I cannot and will not do that. You may not feel like you have anything worth living for right now, but I'm going to probe to you that you do. You can have a life, Victor. You just can't have Todd's," Marty said.

"Get out," Victor said. It was clear that right now she wasn't going to let him go. He had nothing more to say.

"I can do that, but you're going to have to talk to me eventually. I'm not going away and neither are you," Marty said before getting up and leaving the room. As soon as she stepped outside, she stopped dead in her tracks. She'd just come face to face with Todd Manning, the real Todd Manning.


End file.
